Things have an odd way of circling back on you in the most unexpected ways, forcing you to face the demons of the past.
This past week, the city of Fort McMurray has been on high alert due to a nearby wildfire. Similar to 2016, the fire came dangerously close to the town, and some neighbourhoods had to be evacuated.
To say we’ve been here before is a vast understatement. This feeling is all too familiar.
In a matter of days, this fire grew from a simple 50 hectares to nearly 20,000 hectares. Dry conditions, wind, and high temperatures fuelled the flames and pushed them further and further towards the city. This scenario is nothing short of scary—especially if you were here in 2016.
For many, this brought back an array of emotions and memories. Some buried, while others are not so easily forgotten. Everybody’s experience in these moments is 100% valid. There is no correct way to act, think, or feel. There is no one proper way to respond. So, if you were a complete mess through the last week, that’s perfectly okay. You are in good company. And if you held your own and stayed cool as a cucumber, good on you! Everybody deals with crises in their own way.
I can’t speak for everybody else. Our stories will be the same but vastly different. But if you’re going to ask, was I scared?
Yes. 100%.
Did it bring back uncomfortable memories?
Absolutely.
However, my experience this time provided something I did not expect – healing. This time, I stayed. I was determined that I wasn’t leaving unless I had to evacuate. I worked less than 10km from the fire, being rained down on by ash and watching the smoke plumes rise far above me, turning the midday sky into night. I reeked of smoke. And while my heart rate was certainly higher than it should have been, I stood firm.
I always wondered how I would respond to a similar situation. In this case, now I know.
I am not entirely over the 2016 evacuation. I know this. I had nightmares for months afterward. I used to cringe every time I heard a siren. And while time has helped, I am forever marked by my experiences.
But this time, I am not haunted by an uncontrollable beast. I’m not shying away from loud noises or the sight of flames. What we face today is just a part of where we live – a part of the cycle of the forest and being surrounded by nature (even if the fire proves to be caused by unnatural means). And after several days of rain and more favourable conditions, the coming days look a lot brighter.
Tonight, I can sleep.
Sometimes, the things that break us can help pull us back together. Sometimes…
But as I said before, no one response is ever universal. I know many struggle to this day. So, if you’re reading this and need to talk, I will listen. If you need a friend, I’ll stand with you. And if you need time, take all you need.
You aren’t alone.
And someday, we will be okay.
The CJBuzz 