First of all, no, you never do become a paleontologist. But you do stay curious—and that turns out to be even more useful.
Second, you’re probably under the covers right now with a flashlight, reading the same dog-eared book for the fifteenth time and trying not to crinkle the pages too loudly. You think you’re being sneaky, but Mom knows. She always knows.
Anyway, I just wanted to say: you’re doing okay. More than okay, actually.
You don’t believe that right now, and that’s fair. You worry too much for a kid your age. You think that if you just try hard enough—be quiet enough, smart enough, helpful enough—things will always make sense. But let me tell you something you don’t know yet: life rarely makes sense, and trying to earn your place in it with perfect behaviour is a tiring way to live.
You don’t have to earn your spot here. You already have one.
Some updates from the future:
You still love dogs. You still laugh at your own jokes. And yes, you still know way too many dinosaur facts for someone with a job that has nothing to do with dinosaurs.
You do find your people—the ones who let you be weird and curious and quiet when you need to be. And you do get stronger. Not just in ways you can see or measure, but in the kind that takes root in your heart and mind—the kind that doesn’t show up on a report card but changes everything anyway.
You’re going to carry some hard things. Some of them won’t be your fault, and they’ll take longer to shake off than you’d like. But you’ll be okay. You’ll learn how to make space for grief and joy at the same time. That’s one of the most grown-up things you’ll ever do.
There will be days you’ll want to go back and be you again—muddy knees, Nintendo games, Velcro shoes, Legos—all of it. And in a strange way, writing this letter helps me do just that.
So keep being weird. Keep drawing things, writing stories, and inventing rules for games only you understand. Keep asking big questions, even when the grown-ups don’t have good answers.
Oh—and one last thing.
You’re not supposed to know how it all turns out. That’s part of the magic. But I can tell you this: you’re going to be someone you’d be proud of.
And yes, the future still has grilled cheese.
Love,
You (but taller, older, and still figuring it out)
The CJBuzz 