The Myth of Soon

I keep telling myself that things will slow down soon.

When work settles down.
When the house stuff is done.
When the calendar isn’t packed.
When life feels a little more manageable.

Then I’ll breathe.
Then I’ll write more.
Then I’ll rest.
Then I’ll feel caught up, and I can do all the other things I tell myself I want to do.

The problem is, “soon” keeps moving.

There was a time when I thought things would slow down after school.
Then after I got a steady job.
Then after I got settled.
Then after the next responsibility.
Then the next one after that.

Life never really slowed down.

It just filled in.

Free time turned into responsibilities.
Quiet evenings turned into things that needed to be done.
The open spaces slowly disappeared and got replaced by schedules, reminders, and people counting on me.

The other night, I finally sat down after everything was done. The house was quiet. My son was fast asleep. I thought, Good. This is it. This is the time to relax.

About two minutes later, I remembered three things I hadn’t finished, one thing that needed fixing, and something I should probably start planning for next week.

So much for relaxing.

And that’s when it hit me.

If I keep waiting for life to calm down before I enjoy it… I’m probably going to be waiting a long time.

Because this is the season.

This is the busy part.
This is the full part.
The loud, messy, meaningful middle of things.

I used to think peace would show up when life got quieter.

Now I think it has to be built into the middle of the noise.

It’s writing a page instead of waiting for a free afternoon.
It’s sitting down for five minutes instead of hoping for a whole day off.
It’s deciding one thing can wait — even if it probably shouldn’t.

It’s not perfect.

But it’s real.

And honestly, if life ever did slow down the way I imagine…

I’d probably fill the space with something else anyway.

That’s the part I don’t always admit. I don’t just live a busy life. I add to it. One more project. One more responsibility. One more thing that “won’t take long.”

There is no such thing as something that won’t take long.

I still catch myself saying it sometimes.

“Things should slow down soon.”

But lately I’ve been thinking…

Maybe this isn’t the waiting room.

Maybe this is the part I was waiting for.